Walt vs X
by ThinkingBeforeTalking
Summary: Drabbles: Walt needs to punch it out.
1. Walt vs Barlow Connally

_Author note: These chapters contain scenes I've written which haven't found a home in longer storylines. But I do miss Walt punching people or getting punched :) not enough of it this season, so I thought I'd share._

**- Walt vs Barlow Connally -**

"Barlow"

"Walt"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to watch my son compete. I guess you're here to watch your favorite deputy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh don't be coy Walt, everybody knows you're getting your chimney swept by your lovely deputy over there."

"I can't say I expected that sort of vulgarity from you Barlow."

"I don't like losing Walt, a sore loser you might say. I especially don't like my son losing to a worn out cow hand like yourself."

Things between Barlow and I had turned decidedly uglier since the election, but I didn't realize how much till now.

"There's gonna be an opinion piece coming out next week in the Durant Currant by yours truly. Expanding on the conflict of interest that exists in the sheriff's office. Where the epitome of nepotism is being played out between Sheriff Longmire and his lover Victoria Moretti, who is coincidentally also the lead deputy."

"It's your right ... though everyone who knows me knows it isn't true and they'll know it because you wrote it Barlow, everyone knows you too."

"True, but it's still gonna paint an ugly picture. I'm sure it won't help your deputy's reputation with our county's more impressionable citizens. Especially, when she really is knockin' boots with the newly re-elected sheriff."

"Always nice chatting with you Barlow, enlightening as always." I knew it was time to walk away while restraint was still getting the better of impulse.

"I envy you Walt, I definitely wouldn't mind some of that action myself. Hey, do you think after she's done with you, she'd come over to my place for a rerun?

I continued to walk away when the Neanderthal in me broke ranks. I launched at him with an almighty wallop in the face, flooring him and shutting him up, at least for a few seconds.

He needed a moment to shake off the punch and to stem the bleeding from his cut lip and nose, which I would have broken if Branch wasn't making his way over.

"You're a soft touch Walt, haha! Next time ... when you're throwing your weight around, be ready to have it thrown back twice as hard."

"Dad?! What's going on?" He pulled his father off the floor, looking at him for an explanation.

"Oh nothing son, Walt and I were just discussing politics. You know how emotional people get with the issues."

"Everything ok here Walt?"

"Yep ... It is now."


	2. Walt vs Henry

**- Walt vs Henry -**

It was late but I knew Henry would still be at the Red Pony, cleaning up and stocking up the shelves for tomorrow's crowd.

"Did you come by to see me to my car?"

"Here." I placed an envelope on the bar.

"What is it?"

"I want to help."

He looks at me suspiciously but takes the envelope and opens it anyway.

"Why are you giving me a check ...and for quite a considerable sum? "

"I want to help with the loan."

"No."

"What do you mean no? I have the money and I want you to use it."

"I know you mean well Walt but I do not need it."

"That's not the impression I get from Margaret at the bank."

"Why? What did she say to you?"

"Nothing. I deduced."

"Just take it and pay me back when you can."

"The answer is still no."

"I've known you longer than I've known most people alive. We've been friends since we were boys and you're still too proud to take money from me?"

I slapped the check on his chest. "Take it! Don't be so stubborn."

"Look who is talking. Walt I do not want to argue about this, I do not need it!"

He pushes the check back in my chest. So I return the favor. This went on back and forth for awhile until one of us throws the first punch and it escalated into a full blown brawl between friends.

Our bout of fisticuffs ended when exhaustion finally took hold and neither of us could throw another punch. We both crawled over to the foot of the bar and propped ourselves up with considerable effort and pain.

"We might be getting too old for this ... everything hurts."

"I am not too proud to take your money Walt, ... it is not pride when you cannot make your bank payments, it is shame. Business has not been bustling lately, with repairs that need to be done before winter ... I was a little overdrawn with the bank."

"But since you are awash with cash and will not take no for an answer, I will take your money Daddy Warbucks ... I think I may have to borrow more after our skirmish."

We surveyed the broken chairs and tables. "I really tried not to break anything, but you pushed me into the window ... and that chair ..."

"Did you to have hit me so hard? My face, I have been told, is my best asset."

"When was the last time we fought like this?"

"I believe it was 12 years ago ... when you tried to lend me money to buy the Red Pony."

"So the moral of the story is ... don't lend you money, I don't seem to learn."

"It is your best asset."


	3. Walt vs Victoria Moretti

**- Walt vs Victoria Moretti -**

"If you wanted to work out, I could have suggested something a little more entertaining than running on a treadmill. Why did you bring me to the gym?"

"After your last fight in the ring, I thought I could show you a few things."

"Oh really ... you realize she was a professional fighter. I'll have you know I have excellent one on one combat skills."

"Of that, I have no doubt." I winked at her to acknowledge my first hand experience and approval of her one on one skills.

"One kick Vic they used to call me at the police academy."

"I used to box a little in college so ... here put these on." I handed her the gloves and protective gear.

"You know you're bigger than me, it's a little unfair don't you think?"

"I'll take it easy on you ... I promise not to hit anything ... vital."

"You better not, or I'll demonstrate why they used to called me one kick Vic."

"You have to move your feet more ..."

"I don't really have aspirations to 'float like a butterfly, sting like a bee'."

"Everyone should know how to defend themselves a little. Put your hands up higher, especially your left side."

I started to taunt her with sparing punches to her gloves while she tried to keep her guard up. In return, she was having trouble reaching me with her jabs due to the difference in height, which I could tell was getting her all fired up.

"Hey Dad!"

"Yeah!"

I turned around to have a look when I remembered that Vic was probably in mid-swing. THUMP! was all I heard before hitting the mat. I lay on my back with wounded pride while she stood over me looking victorious.

"Ummm ... you forgot to keep your left up." She seemed overly pleased with herself smiling ear to ear.


	4. Walt vs Sean

**- Walt vs Sean -**

Henry had called me to take care of a drunk customer at the Red Pony without telling me who it was, otherwise, sending Ferg or Branch would have been a better choice. When I arrived, Vic's husband Sean was at the bar barking for more drinks.

"Sean, I think you've had enough. Why don't I drive you home."

"What home? Don't you remember sheriff, she moved out. Thanks to you." He prodded his finger accusingly into my chest.

"I didn't have anything to do with that, you managed to do that all on your own."

"Oh don't be so modest sheriff, underneath that humble exterior, sad widow act, you're just like any other guy. You've been after her since we got here. Calling her out on her days off ... in the middle of the night ... she was at your beck and call ... you just couldn't leave her alone!"

"Isn't that right fellas?" He turned to the crowd for support, which thankfully ignored his drunken oratory and continued with their night.

"Everyone here knows it ... I've seen how you look at her ... I've seen how she looks at you. So don't lie to me you GODDAMNED COW...boy!

"Look, I don't know what you've heard ..."

"I should never have brought her out here ... So if you don't mind, I won't take that offer of a ride. Get the fuck outta my way! I'll find my own way home."

I sidled my way in front of him as he tried to make his way out of the bar. "I can't let you drive in your condition, if you don't want me to drive, Henry here will oblige."

"No thanks, I've had enough 'help' from all of YOU!"

It was like doing a two step as he continued to try and get around me, finally fed up, he takes a drunken swing at me, fortunately missing his target. I grabbed his arm to stop him from making another attempt.

"Nothing has ever happened between Vic and me, she's my deputy that's all."

"LIAR!"

"It's the truth Sean."

"Hahaha maybe ... maybe you're lying to yourself too! Hahaha ... Well don't worry, good ol' Sean here will be outta your way soon, you two can shack up for all I care."

"C'mon ..."

"Where are you taking (hiccup) ... me?"

"I'm taking you back to the office to sleep it off."

"NO! Get your hands off me." He tries another swing, this time making contact with my jaw.

"I know you're trying to rile me up to hit you but I don't make it a habit of punching drunks. So quit it."

"Walt ..."

"Vic ... what you doing here?"

"Henry called, said that I should come by?"

I looked over at Henry somewhat irritated, "What? I called her first and left a message."

"What's going ... oh ... hell ... here let me take him ... c'mon Sean I'll take you home."

Vic grabs his arm trying to pull him along through the doors when he shoves her loose and knocks her back hard into the wall with a loud thwack.

"Get away from me bitch!"

I tapped him on the shoulder, which caused him to turn around to face me, "That ain't any way to talk to my deputy."

That's when his face met my fist going his direction, in his condition it only took one hit to fell him like a tree in a forest.

"I thought you said you weren't going to hit me?"

"I lied."


	5. Walt vs Jacob Nighthorse

**- Walt vs Jacob Nighthorse -**

"Don't take it personally Walt, it's just business."

"Jacob there's nothing you do that I don't take personally. So if you don't mind, I'll be leaving."

"Not before you sign this."

"No."

"I don't think you understand the situation sheriff. If you don't sign this order, then it's quite possible the media will get wind of your wife's murder in Denver. Henry, being the prime suspect in disposing of your wife's murderer will be brought to light in a most unflattering manner. Perhaps even swinging public opinion against you, and him, the timing would be most unfortunate."

"Listen to me Jacob, there is nothing that you can hold over my head that is going to make me sign that piece of paper. So the answer is still no."

"Even poor Cady? Who thought for the longest time her poor mother died of cancer. It would be quite the scoop on such a private man and a blight on the sheriff's scrupulous record. If he lied to his daughter, what else has he lied about?"

"SIGN IT!"

"No."

"I tried to be reasonable about this Walt but you leave me no choice."

"The world's full of choices Jacob, it's too bad you chose to be just another thug."

"Thug or not, I am still the one with the gun ... AND the plan."

"You, Sheriff Longmire will meet a very unfortunate accident. The heavy burden of so many personal problems has caused you to spiral into an alcoholic binge. You try to drive yourself home via a treacherous road, you miss a turn and oops off the cliff you go. How's that sound?"

"No one would believe it."

"Maybe ... though it is a plausible enough outcome and that's more than I need. When you're gone, Branch will take over as sheriff and he may not have the same tenacity to follow through as you are. He will have so much on his plate, like this new casino's grand opening."

"Now move, you have some drinking to do."

"You! Tie him to the chair ..."

"I think bourbon is going to be faster than beer don't you? Sorry Walt, I know how you like the stuff."

"Hold his mouth open." I struggled but Jacob's henchman was a lot stronger than he looked. Jacob poured half a bottle into me before he let me take a breath.

"Don't fight it, at least this way you won't even know what's happening."

"You know Jacob if you weren't so damned unlikeable ... I wouldn't let Vic do what she's about to do. So I hope you don't take it personally, she's just doing her job ... the part she likes ... a lot"

"Stop bluffing, you came alone, I checked, you weren't followed."

"But you didn't check your employees."

(ZZPT! ZZPT!)  
Vic and Ferg were standing about twenty feet behind my captors. The Tasers brought both men to their knees quickly and judging from the yelling, painfully too. Jacob was still on his knees fighting off the pain and refused to succumb to the effects, I helped him along by sending my fist hard across his jaw, enough to drop him to the floor.

"I really do like this part of the job ... at least he didn't skimp on the bourbon, that's the good stuff. Might have to grab a bottle or two ... you know evidence."

"You'll have to drive the Bronco (hiccup) ... that bottle was full when he started."


	6. Walt vs Omar

_Author note: No punches in this but Walt gets hit all over so it kinda fit in :) _

**- Walt vs Omar -**

"I had a couple of acres to spare on this side of the property. It's got the perfect mix of tree cover and shrubbery to make it exciting. So this here is where we'll start the course, I call it 'The Hunt'! good huh? ... yeah the PR company I hired went crazy for that."

"Are you sure about this Omar? Sounds like a whole lotta liability to me."

"Oh don't worry, everyone has to sign a disclaimer, got me some fancy lawyers to draw it up, it's iron clad."

"You see Walt, out there in the corporate world, there are all these young working types who are stressed outta their minds. They need a way to let off a little steam and what could be better than shootin' your co-workers! With the added benefit of someone else paying for the pleasure."

"I hired this paintball course expert, Zack, to design it and take care of all the machinations for me."

"Why do you need me?"

"I trust your instincts Walt, if you spot any problems or safety concerns we'll fix it before the first group arrives next week."

"So far everything looks ok, you might want to put up a little extra fencing over on that side." We turned the corner to a stretch of clearing about 30 feet wide and about 300 feet before reaching some cover.

"What's this area for Omar?"

"Oh yeah this is the pièce de résistance ... I call it the Gauntlet! They have to pass through here as the last test of teamwork."

"We've got guns hidden in the trees and down low. The guns are triggered by infrared sensors placed discreetly around this part of the course. They won't know where the shots are coming from, like snipers in the forest, adds to excitement, clever huh? My idea."

"Uh ... so we should go around?"

"You can't, that's the point. Oh don't worry the guns aren't loaded Walt, I told Zack to load them after we walk the course."

"And how many guns do you have in this gauntlet?"

"Twenty, with extra large hoppers in each to hold a 500 round capacity."

"So you're telling me you have 10,000 paintballs covering this one area alone?"

"You don't think that's overkill? Who's gonna clean up the mess each time?"

"I know how you hate litter so I especially ordered biodegradable non-toxic granola friendly paintballs, any balls that aren't collected or reused will dissolve in a few weeks."

"So people are going to bond while they shoot each other?"

"That's what they tell me, promotes teamwork under pressure."

"They aren't just gonna get angry and shoot each other anyway?"

"Well I didn't think of that but there are rules of engagement."

"Don't these little paintballs hurt when they hit you?"

"Sure do, your skin welts up like a golf ball and it hurts like a bee sting on fire! Don't worry though all the players will be wearing protective gear, face masks, padding, the works."

We reached the edge of the 'Gauntlet' and I was still weary after Omar's description. He walked ahead of me to show me it was fine so I followed. What happened next was a blurry mess of colors and pain. Omar was hit first with a flurry of angry paintballs and I followed close behind running for cover at the end of the gauntlet, but not before being pelted with hundreds of paintballs. Today would have been a good day to have worn my coat.

When our suffering finally came to an end, we both collapsed on the ground spattered in paint, which surely covered the growing agony of welts hidden underneath the smeared mess of hues.

"You might have to arrest me Walt, 'cos obviously now I'm going to have to kill him with a real gun! ZACK!"

.  
.

"Walt is that you?" Vic called out from the bedroom. She made it a habit of staying at the cabin on most nights. I could hear her stepping around the corner to meet me.

"Yep."

"F... you scared the SHIT outta me! GAWD what the hell happened to you? You look like Bob Barnes after a sad day at the rodeo, are you thinking of taking over his job clownin'?" She came in for a closer look.

"Just so you know, I'm in a lot of pain right now so take it easy ... who knew little balls of paint could hurt so much? ... All I want to do is go wash this stuff off."

"Oh by the way, this is really bad timing but the shower's broken."

I may have wept a little on the inside at that news.

Seeing my despondent reaction, she reached out and grabbed my hand, "C'mon my sad clown, I'll run you a hot bath and you can tell me all about what big bad Omar did to you."

I liked it when she stayed over.


End file.
